The Immortal Mouth and Other Stories
A collection of 30 short stories dealing with classic American themes of fathers and sons, hitting the open road, roller-coaster relationships, sports, growing up and aging. These stories deal with humanity’s goodness and wickedness, loyalty and betrayal, rage and exultation, triumph and defeat.
“Jose Gecko and Son“
Once upon a time, in the middle of December, Barney Buckle and his son Jeff took a trip to Hawaii. The month of December is very cold in the other forty-nine states of the United States. In Hawaii, it’s always hot. Barney Buckle and Jeff wanted to escape the cold, rainy Oregon winter to enjoy the sweet Hawaiian sunshine and to take in its warm ocean waters. Jeff didn’t have a mother. She died giving birth to him five years before.
The first day of their vacation, after coming home from the beach, Jeff Buckle was playing in the backyard of the house that he and his father were renting. His father was cooking dinner in the kitchen, when all of a sudden he heard a frightening scream from his son. He turned off the gas on the stove and flew out the back door.
“Daddy,” Jeff cried, “red ants, red ants! I got bit by a bunch of red ants! It hurts! It really hurts!”
What Barney Buckle saw were large red welts on his son’s leg that made his stomach turn somersaults. He carried Jeff to their rented car and rushed him to the hospital where Jeff had to stay the night.
The next day Jeff felt much better. The doctor gave him permission to leave the hospital and recommended a dip in the warm Pacific Ocean. “Salt water will heal your wounds faster,” he said.
Barney Buckle and son drove directly to the beach. They played in the water, threw a Frisbee and a tennis ball around, and enjoyed themselves immensely.
When they got home, a dark cloud of big, fat, juicy mosquitoes hovered above them. Just as the Buckles were about to enter the house, the big, fat, juicy mosquitoes attacked them. What an ordeal it was for Barney Buckle and son. The mosquitoes bit them so badly that they both had to stay in the hospital that night.
“Daddy,” said Jeff, lying in a bed next to his father’s bed, “this is the worst vacation of my life. The insects in Hawaii are so cruel. Let’s go back to Oregon.”
“We can’t give up so easily, Jeff. I’m sure that as soon as we leave the hospital we’ll have a great time in Hawaii.”
“Are you sure?” asked Jeff.
“I’m positive,” said Barney Buckle.
The Buckles were released from the hospital the next morning.
That very same day, Barney Buckle was lying on the couch in the living room, a book on his stomach, his eyes closed, when Jeff came running into the house. He was crying loudly and his body was shaking.
“What happened, son?”
“A bunch of black beetles just bit me!”
Barney Buckle again had to drive to the hospital. Poor Jeff, this wasn’t a vacation for him, this was the most horrible nightmare that could ever happen to a five-year-old boy.
Meanwhile, Jose Gecko, who resided with his son, Art, on the walls and ceilings of the house that Barney Buckle and Jeff were renting, could not stand the injustice done to this man and his son by the red ants, the big, fat, juicy mosquitoes, and the black beetles.
Jose announced to his son, “I’ve had enough of this, Art! Those heartless, brutal insects should know better than to pick on a young boy like that. That’s the most unfair thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life.”
“What should we do, Daddy?” asked his son.
“I’m going to protect Barney Buckle and his son. I swear, they’ll never be bothered by another insect as long as they’re in Hawaii.”
“When should we start, Daddy.”
“This is a man’s job, son.”
“Look, Daddy, I have large eyes just like you, and feelings too. I can help. I’m sure of it. Besides, they’re just like us—they’re a father and son without a mommy. You have to let me help you.”
“You’re too young, Art.”
“I’m five years old, the same age as Jeff. You have to let me help you, Daddy.”
“Well, with a fighting spirit like that, maybe I can use you, Art.”
Jose Gecko and son were only four inches long. They were shaped like small lizards, except they were much cuter than lizards because of their large, round eyes. Their feet were large for their size, too. Under their five fingers or toes were suction cups that they used to climb flat surfaces like walls and glass windows. They could even walk upside down on ceilings. No one knows the true color of a gecko, because its color changes according to where it happens to be at the moment. If a gecko is on a pink wall, it turns pink. If it’s on a yellow refrigerator, it blends in perfectly with the refrigerator. When a gecko talks, it clicks its tongue against the roof of its mouth. It doesn’t go “meow” or “cock-a-doodle-do,” it goes “gecko,” just like its name. And most importantly, the gecko has a long, thick, sticky tongue.
After getting bit by the ferocious black beetles, Jeff spent his third straight night in the hospital.
When his father picked him up late the next morning, they went straight home and spent the whole day inside. Little did they know that Jose Gecko and son were close by, protecting them.
That night, Jose and Art were on the wall in Jeff’s bedroom when they heard a pitter-patter of a horde of tiny feet. It was a troop of red ants moving along the floor toward Jeff’s bed. Just as they were about to assault Jeff, Jose Gecko and son stuck out their long, thick, sticky tongues and swept up the red ants in short order. They rolled their tongues back into their mouths and crunched down hard on the red ants, saving Jeff a fourth night in the hospital. Father and son celebrated by high-fiving their suction-cup hands together.
When the Buckles awoke the next morning, the first words to come out of Jeff’s mouth were, “Let’s go home, Daddy.”
“In a few more days,” said Barney Buckle.
“This is no vacation,” said Jeff.
“Look, Jeff, I work hard all year long. I need a rest to gain my strength back. I know you’ve had a tough time here, but I have a feeling this is going to end up being the best vacation we ever had.”
“Why?” asked Jeff.
“I just feel it,” his father replied.
As the Buckles were walking to the beach that morning, Jose Gecko was clinging to Jeff’s bright red shirt, while his son Art blended in with Barney Buckle’s blue shirt. The Geckos spied a swarm of mosquitoes way up high in a banana tree.
The mosquitoes were all abuzz, plotting a second attack on the Buckles.
“We’ll go for zee boy,” said one mosquito. “Hizz zzkin izz zzo zzoft it makzz it zzo eazzy to bite him.”
“No, no,” said another mosquito, “half of uzz will go for zee boy and zee other half for zee father, juzzt like zee lazzt time.”
The leader of the mosquitoes said, “I’m zee one to tell you what we’re going to do, and if any of you dizzagreezz with me I’ll finish you off thizz very zzecond. Izz zat underzztood?”
“Yezzzzzzzz,” the band of mosquitoes dutifully replied.
The leader said, “We’ll zzend twelve zzcouts to get zee boy, and azz zzoon azz they bite him, we’ll all zzero in on him and finish him off. Forget zee father, hizz zzkin izz too hard. Duzz everyone agree?”
Every mosquito, even if they didn’t want to follow the leader, answered, “Yezzzzzzz.”
Twelve mosquito scouts started out for little Jeff Buckle. Jose Gecko noticed they were advancing toward him and so he clicked his tongue nine times, “Gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko.” (“Hurry, son, jump onto Jeff’s shirt and help me.”)
Art Gecko quickly sprang from Barney Buckle’s blue shirt to his son’s red shirt, and in a blink of an eye his small body turned red.
“Did you see what I saw, Daddy?” asked Jeff.
“Yes,” said Barney Buckle. “Wasn’t it a beautiful sight to see that big, black humpback whale shoot out of the water?”
“Not that, Daddy. I just saw something jump from your shirt over to mine.”
“Did you get enough sleep last night?” asked Barney Buckle. “You must be a little woozy if you’re starting to see ghosts.”
“Oh, forget it,” said Jeff.
As the twelve mosquito scouts closed in on the young boy, two long, thick, sticky tongues came out of nowhere and snatched the dozen of them out of the air. The captured mosquitoes looked at each other in total amazement as Jose and Art’s tongues curled into their mouths and made them vanish forever. The remaining mob of mosquitoes saw what took place and buzzed off for the hills.
Because of Jose and Art Gecko, the Buckles had their most enjoyable day since they arrived in Hawaii. “I really like this place,” said Jeff. “As long as the insects don’t bother me, this is the greatest place in the world.”
Just before dinner that night, Jeff Buckle was outside playing on the grass. The black beetles, who had feasted on him only a few days earlier, were drooling at the sight of the little boy. One of them rubbed his thin front legs together and sang, “Yum, yum, yummy, a little boy’s soft skin for my oh so empty tummy.”
Meanwhile, Jose Gecko and son, who were clinging to Jeff’s red shirt, prepared themselves for the onslaught of the black beetles. Young Art Gecko clicked his tongue six times—”Gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko.” In human language he said, “I like being Jeff’s bodyguard, Daddy.”
“Good,” Jose Gecko clicked back. “Now get ready. Here they come.”
Jeff Buckle looked down his shirt to see four black beetles taken in by two long, thick, sticky tongues. Then he heard crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. What he didn’t see was the rest of the black beetles fleeing for cover. Instead of Jeff running into the house with tears in his eyes, he rushed inside with a wide grin on his face.
“Look at my shirt, Daddy.”
“I’m looking,” said Barney Buckle. “It’s red.”
“Look where my finger’s pointing.”
“Why, Jeff, that’s a…gecko!”
“Here’s another one,” said Jeff. “They just saved me from getting bit by a bunch of black beetles.”
Barney Buckle put his finger on Jose Gecko and rubbed his soft smooth skin.
“Thanks for saving my son, Mr. Gecko.”
Jose extended his two front suction-cup feet, giving Barney Buckle’s finger a manly shake. “Gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko-gecko.” (“That’s quite all right, Mr. Buckle.”)
The Buckles and the Geckos became the best of friends. The four of them stuck together for the rest of the Buckles’ stay in Hawaii.
Just before the Buckles were about to leave for the airport, Barney Buckle said to the Geckos, “Jeff and I are going to rent this house again next December.”
“Gecko!” clicked Art Gecko. (“Great!”)
As things turned out, Barney Buckle and son and Jose Gecko and son spent many happy Decembers together.
A collection of 2000 highly enlightening, inspiring and humorous quotations grouped into 120 categories. The quotations cover all aspects of health—be it mental, physical, spiritual or emotional health.